Stratford Festival 2006
Report & Photo Gallery

22nd - 24th September

Stratford Hockey Club
Swans Nest Lane,
Stratford upon Avon,
Warwickshire, CV37 7LS
Tel: 01789 550725
www.stratfordhockey.fsnet.co.uk

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Tour Report

Friday / Saturday / Sunday

Hornets: Singles, Ross, Scott, Hannah, Riley, Ellie, James, Jonny, the lovely Sonia, Tilley, Melanie and 3 cling-on Dave's.

----- Friday -----

The Hornets gathered at their now usual haunt at Stratford. Wetherspoons, and eventually all had gathered there after erecting their 3 second tents on mass. The Hornets had grown in numbers with the addition of cling on Dave's 1, 2 and 3 who were immediately all put onto the same drinking team.unlucky. We stayed in Wetherspoons for hours until we were all totally wankered, then Nick tried to take us off to some gay night club which we all walked into and then promptly walked out of and went back to the other bar we usually frequent by the river for the rest of Friday night. At this point in proceedings, after having to drink rather a lot of Magners, Sonia felt rather queasy and ran off to the toilets to be a little sick only to be joined a few moments later by Hannah who also wasn't feeling her best. With that it was hometime for me and the rest came back not too long after as it was rather early in the morning by this point. A good nights drinking to start the weekends proceedings. <<<

----- Saturday -----

The hornets were woken by the dulcet sounds of Hannah chucking her guts up next to camp in the aftermath of the previous night's activities. With such a lovely wake-up call they were all soon up and hunting for breakfast in the safe knowledge that as always we were first up to play. The days hockey went extremely well considering I can't remember any of the games apart from having to play the evil dirty Indian's team twice, and losing to them on flicks in the semi-final, or something like that! I know it was an all girl flick off in this game which wasn't of the highest quality apart from Ellie and Singles. We even made the lovely Sonia have a go. The Hornets in true style couldn't be arsed to play by this point so suggested an 11-man flick off instead in the play-off runner up game. We lost this one too and I can't remember who got flicks in and who missed. Our cling-on Dave goalkeeper Tom performed very well in goal but not well enough so had to down rather a lot of purple when we'd finished. Those who missed their flicks also had to down a pint so there were a few pints of purple downed by several of the hornets. Tilley and Singles had been at Singles' cocktail bar most of the day and all the hornets enjoyed having a little taste until Jonny tried to kill Sonia by forcing liquid down the wrong way.well, it is Jonny after all!

• Pool Game: vs Handy Magandys (Lost)
• Pool Game: vsYoung Bardstars (Won)
• Pool Game: vs Myles Mutineers (Won)
• Pool Game: vs Scurvy Rascals (Won)
• Pool Game: vs Pug'n'Ears (Won)
• Semi-Final: vs Pug'n'Ears (Lost)
• 3rd/4th Play-Off: vs Myles Mutineers (Lost on flicks)

There is a big gap in what happened after the games as I went off to my sisters 30th birthday with Ross who got rather squiffy whilst we were there so I had much to catch up on when I got back. Luckily, Riley had saved one of our pirate rum vouchers for when we got back so after a lovely warming glass of that I felt much livelier! Melanie had appeared and got rather smashed during this time along with the rest of the hornets who were also rather squiffy. There was a lot of dancing going on, especially from Tilley busting her moves on the dance floor. Scotty had himself a telescope to eye up the appropriate girls and fluffy arrived with the outlanders who yet again tried to take us on and then regretted it. The girls and boys beat the home team record for downing a massive 4 pint jug thing with straws. Ross went to bed at about 8.30pm claiming he was off for a nap and would be back out later.yeah right. Ellie, Tilley and Melanie held up the dance floor, or rather Scotty held Melanie upright for the last bit of the evening. Me and Singles got peckish so wandered into town for Chinese and then came back to finish the evening off with the rest of the group. I have a sneaky feeling Sonia may have been a little poorly this night too, but the chunder star of this evening had to be Melanie who was sick during the night in Shirley the camper all over her hornet shirt and in her porter-pottie and had managed to spill a pint of purple on her lovely beige carpet! With that we were being kicked out of the clubhouse and it was back to camp for those left and just enough time for James to finish off the left-over Chinese and give Ross a little wake-up cuddle before bedtime. <<<

----- Sunday -----

We played one bunch of tw*ts this day who after the whistle undercut the ball at Ross's head and tried to kill him, to which he retorted.'ha ha unlucky we win.' We also played a bunch of Birmingham Uni students who were pants at hockey but very amusing to listen too on the pitch, sounded just like Browster.a bit! The most annoying thing about this day, even more annoying than losing in the semi-s the day before was that we tried really hard not to get to the final as we were all hanging and only bloody managed it with no goalie, just Riley acting as kicking back and at some points 7 players! In our semi-final game, it yet again went to flicks and Riley donned a goalie helmet and nothing else and defended our goal brilliantly to put us through to the final. In the final, we played with 9 for the whole game and managed to find another replacement keeper who never usually keeps and draw the final so yet again it was down to flicks. By this point, we were actually quite keen on winning but we lost in sudden death flicks.God damn it, but still a good result considering how p*ssed we'd all been for most of the weekend.

• Pool Game: vs Pug'n'Ears (Won)
• Pool Game: vs Black Magic (Won)
• Pool Game: vs Scurvy Rascals (Won)
• Pool Game: vs Zulus (Won)
• Semi-Final: vs Young Bardstarts (Won)
• Final: vs Myles Mutineers (Lost on flicks)

Yet again the hornets noted that it had been a very successful hockey tour without the up-front skills of Gareth Norris. The hornets had their final goodbye meal back at Wetherspoons and all headed home to recuperate until the next time!

Thanks to all the Hornets that took part, for Riley for organising and to Mark for organising prior to the tour. See you all next year at Easter…wherever we might be!

As for the results, they speak for themselves... or they would do if anyone could remember them!

Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
Hornets	13	8	3	2	-	-	-	27

Hannah
Report Oct-06